So Here I Am

I've been wanting to start a weblog for a while now but I'm not a writer and have no aspirations to be a writer so I thought I shouldn't. After reading a statement from a seasoned blogger that said if you want to start a blog, do it, and then keep doing it. Stress on the keep doing. So here I am.

I am going to try to be completely honest on this blog because I can. Because I'm going to try to keep it anonymous. So that I can do this without fear. So that I can tell stories about my kids that won't come back to haunt them or me. So I can record the things they say and the things I feel and the things I'm thinking about.

I'm a mom to three, ages 3, 8, and 17. I'm married to the guy I've been with since grade 8 (I know, weird!). So we've now been together for more than 20 years but married for just over 10. I work full time, I parent full time, I clean and cook when I have to.

I'm starting on three distinct journey's in my life right now. In no particular order of importance:

The first is to yell less. I want to be a kind, gentle, loving mom and wife and daughter. I don't want to be this angry, impatient, unkind person that I seem to have become. I think I yell for lots of different reasons and am going to use this space to try and help myself discover them so I can stop this craziness.

The second is to find my way to a Christian life. I've been making steps in the right direction but this is hard stuff. I joined a great church, I go every single Sunday that I am not away. I volunteer to help with the children's program. I show up to the family supper nights. And I do it all without my husband because he's not interested. So, it's hard but I'm trying and it's sure helping with the less yelling journey.

The third is to lose weight. I need to do this for so many reasons. For health, for self-confidence. I know that if I were happier with my figure, that I would be less of a yeller.

I know that a lot of blogs have a theme that is specific. I don't have a theme really, unless you count me. I also don't have a schedule or any idea of what I'm doing exactly. But since no one but me is reading this, I guess it doesn't matter! I'm thinking that I just need to pretend that I have an audience so that I have someone to write to.